I still want to contribute

Not too long ago, I was invited to dinner by some family friends who are nearly twice my age.  Throughout the dinner, my friend shared with me many of his thoughts and life stories.  He was happy to talk, and I was happy to listen.  As he told me his stories, I saw that there were some glaring differences in our philosophies on life.  I didn’t allow this fact to interrupt our pleasant conversation because we still had plenty of commonalities with our mutual history in the military and I knew that, through hearing about his experiences, there was still plenty for me to learn.

Then, he said it, the golden nugget of the conversation!  He said, “Ya know, if I could, I would love to get back out there [in the work force].  I just feel like I’ve got more to contribute.”

The impact of his candid words hit me with a profound sense that I’m sure was not intended.  This man is currently disabled  in a way that he can no longer physically contribute in the way he knows best.  His yearning to contribute made a much stronger connection to me than the philosophy differences we had.  In some way, we all want to contribute, in fact, that is where the adolescent desire to fit in and connect with others comes from.  We want to be a contributing member of the group.  Think about how hurtful it is when you are cut out of a job, a family or any other kind of group.  The feeling that YOUR contribution didn’t really matter and that, in fact, you were just “replicable.”  No matter what we do, we feel like our contribution is somehow unique.  If you are feeling a great deal of dissatisfaction with your job or your business, chances are you somehow feel that your current contribution is not significant.

Everyone wants to, and has talents to contribute to different people in different ways and at different levels.  My friend felt a great deal of satisfaction in contributing to the military during his time of service.  He could see the bigger picture and feel his contribution to it.  I, on the other hand, am very proud of my military service, but I didn’t feel the same level of satisfaction or contribution as my friend did.  On the surface this seemed like a difference in our philosophies.  You can see how this surface level differencs can sometimes cause ruined relationships.  When my eyes opened to see the deeper level connection we had, all the differences I thought we had went away.  I found we had far more in common than I had thought.

Understanding how and why people want to contribute is the secret to bringing out the best in others.  It doesn’t matter if they are your employees, your employer, your spouse or your opposition.  Allowing someone to contribute and then genuinely appreciating their contribution is one of the biggest contributions you can make into someone else.  It’s also the biggest compliment you can give.

To a Warrior, relationships and honor are everything.  Knowing how to maximize the contribution of others is the most effective weapon and tactical maneuver in his/her arsenal.  Discover where your highest sense of contribution comes from.  Find others whose motives match the big picture of what you are contributing to.  Then empower them to do what they do best to satisfy their yearning by coordinating their contributions.